Sneezy

The train held for me today the delight of a sneezy young woman.

With Hobson’s choice I sat in the last remaining seat, opposite a young woman who was  liberally spreading herself into the aisle and partway across her neighbouring seat, regardless of the poor soul trying to use that seat.  She was already working on her make-up when I sat down, and already had in her hand some face powder.  The sun was shining slightly this morning, which showed up the faint clouds of dust with each jab of her brush into the powder.  This concerned me greatly.  Although not as greatly as it irritated me!

She managed to apply the powder just to her face and not her neighbouring commuters which was a result.  She then proceeded to piddle about in her make-up bag pulling out one item after another and poking at her face with each.

Finally she stopped.  With the make-up, that is, not with the piddling about  She continued to do that, and got out the inevitable phone and tapped away.  Then it happened… she sneezed.

Now, the sneeze was a hugely pathetic thing with a childlike and laboured “a..a..a..cho.oo.oo.ooo” and then she added “hoooooooo..oooh” also in a childlike and squeaky fashion, going up at the end to punctuate it.  What an absolute moron!  I do believe I actually raised my eyebrows in disbelief that someone had done that in a public area without any of their friends around to whom they were showing off or being silly.

She did it again and the second time people around her started to giggle in a muffled, uncontrollable way.  I didn’t.  I looked at her disdainfully with disbelief that anyone would do that.  Why would anyone want to make themselves such a laughing stock.  It wasn’t even part of the sneeze but an add-on for effect.  It had an effect all right.  An effect of me, after the 4th sneeze, of wanting to defenestrate her!  this young woman clearly has no desire to get promotion in any job ever.

The good news is that she hadn’t sneezed at the point of using her face powder.  Otherwise I would have gone to work looking more bronzed than intended.  I hope I never see…no, never hear her again!